Life Manual Newsletter No. 3
Resistance is something we are all familiar with. We all do it, and it can pop up whenever we want to step forward … whether to commit to a relationship, move home, take on a new job, or even just going to the dentist!
We can usually recognise it from bad feelings accompanied by an overall sense of I don’t want to, or can’t, do this. Sometimes, just feeling that bad is enough for us, whether it is discomfort, or outright fear. We just aren’t going to go to that place again. Unsurprisingly, the next time we decide to step forward, the bad feeling is even worse. Everytime we make that choice to avoid stepping forward in the face of our resistance feeling, we reinforce the habit of avoiding that bad feeling, and therefore that event.
Resistance also shows up in what is going on around us. We are very creative at a subconscious level. Those times when just nothing goes right as we try to head for the door. The toothpaste down the front of your best shirt or blouse just before the interview, the missed bus or train, or just the unwillingness to prepare to avoid all our known pitfalls the night before. Some of us obviously do have superhuman powers, can get the electricity to blow, stop the car starting, even break a leg. So maybe actors are very wise, by wishing each other to ‘break a leg’ on opening night, they may be defusing that possibility.
Another great way to avoid our resistance is to go do something else. In other words, distracting ourselves, or comforting ourselves with something we would rather do. It was well described by a psychology teaching friend as “Whenever I am cleaning the oven, I know I am in resistance.” I do tend to indulge the housework, and get hooked into computer puzzles, and I have more plans and lists than anyone could carry out in ten life times.
Steps on the Pathway to Least Resistance
Go on, have a look at what you do. Make a list … Step 1 -
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