Twelve Principles

There are no BAD GUYS. We can all win.  If anyone loses in communication, we all lose.

• Blame stops communication. Only no-fault communication is effective. Everybody has to be included in the solution. There is always a Win – Win solution.

• The outcome of any communication is what we intend it to be! Know your purpose and set your goal beforehand.

• Nobody can make us feel anything. We are responsible for our emotional state.

• To bridge any probems, we are asked to be physically, emotionally and mentally present.

• Do not interrupt,  because it stops communication. We interrupt because we cannot stand the feeling coming up and the competition is too great.

• Where we attack or defend we will get attacked. Like attracts like.

• If we insist on being right we cannot change and the situation will not move forward. Surrender, listen and learn.

• Compromise or adjustment is not resolution. Keep communicating until there is resolution. Resolution occurs when all parties get what they want or there is a Win-Win.

• We are totally accountable for our behaviour and the behaviour of those around us.

• Trust others with what is really on your mind. Our ‘with-holds’, which are our deepest thoughts about a person or situation, are a form of attack that don’t allow for resolution.

• Recognize that another’s communication always has some significance to you and the situation.

• In any disagreement or conflict both sides are feeling the same emotion at the deepest level. Expressing appreciation helps to end power struggles.