Who's to Blame for Failures?

Life Manual Newsletter No 2

Since our last newsletter, I have witnessed some really tough examples of how blame can completely hold our lives back, so I wanted to extend that topic in this newsletter.

It seems that when things go wrong, many of us tend to look for somebody to blame. If the event seems to come from nature, or is related to health, the final blame often gets laid at God’s door. Jeff writes in Life Manual, that in times of trouble, everyone becomes a believer and calls or prays for help. The downside of this, is that God also gets the blame… even if we don’t believe in him/her at any other time. A friend quoted a chilling example in that old phrase ‘Man proposes, and God disposes.’ This locks us into a very powerless position, the victim stance, that leaves us trapped in fear, and at the mercy of a life over which we feel we have no power.

Sometimes, we can ’bust’ these illogical beliefs, common to our cultures and religions, quite simply by seeing the absurdity and humour in them. Do you blame God for the bad things in your life, while taking credit for your achievements? When 9 things go right, do you only notice the 1 that went wrong? Your honest answer may surprise you, and shift your stance.

Blame keeps us stuck
A more personal example this week was a couple who are locked into a hell and misery that is hard to bear, even from a distance. The wife begins her discussion with all of her husband’s failings. How can any partrnership be built on all those failings? She is right, it is impossible. She has already locked herself into a NO WIN position.

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christine@pov-lifemanual.com